"That's killing me," she said.
"So leave," he said. She did.
We were happy to have her out of harm's way, at least. She's been great - Charlie, the dog, dotes on her (Lani was his first caretaker). In fact, today he had his head in her lap. She even does the dishes. She's a little weak to pick up the baby, but they still like looking at each other.
A few days ago, she ran out of these opiates she takes for pain from a botched stomach surgery, several years back. I just picked up new ones today from CVS, but it's been a hell of a time. People can get cranky when they run out of opiates, and I'd be lying if I said this time has been easy on Tina to begin with.
Don't get me wrong - all told, we have a job, a supportive family, and a supportive community. So our "struggles" have to be seen in context. But damn if it didn't rain-pour-monsoon life changes, and we're still trying to figure out what it all means.
I'll let Tina speak for herself - she can probably speak more eloquently (and amusingly) about how this has been for her. But some parts of it have just not been that funny. We've had to learn and grow really fast while taking care of these two new people, one very young, one old.
The lesson for me has been that the fabric of community weaves itself tighter as you dive in. The more threads you pick up, the more follow you. We're all grabbing blind at all these threads, and frankly from up close they kind of look like a mess. But the split end you pick up and carry with you and find a place for now, might be the one that ties two more threads together tomorrow, and makes you a little swing to kick back on. My life is full of wonderful, colorful fabric, and I've never fallen so hard it didn't catch me.
Speaking of which, I have to go fold our laundry.
Hi Josh and Tina! Your post moved me. As someone who is a mom and caretaker of my grandmother, it just lows my mind how many people have assumed that us living with elders meant they were supporting us, rather than us taking care of them. As much as having family together has it's pluses of everyone helping out as they can (even babies bring entertainment). The sad part is how much society just makes it difficult for us to help. I am surprised you were able to get pain meds for her mom, I have had quite a few incidences where getting meds or getting money or getting physical therapy items were a big challenge. If my grandma was in a home that's one thing. I commend you on navigating two very different and unfair situations well, and if you need any support, I am happy to give you some. Mazel Tov in your growing family. I will let you know how much more supporting they are in Israel when I take Bubbe there in a week and a half.
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